Hasta la vista Baby….
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
Man… it hadn’t dawned on me until just a bit ago that it’s been a long long, super long time since I’ve blogged. Ohhh I dunno, maybe it’s because I don’t even have time to take a crap, let alone write down my feelings….. yah,, that’s most likely the case. To the right here, you’ll see an image of “flight status tracker”… a nifty little service provided by, I’m assuming, most airline websites these days. Trackin’ the flight. On this particular flight, is my precious Maggie Georgia and my dad. Dad came up last week to help me out with the kids while the hubbs is deployed to the lovely BP-summer-ruining-disaster. Wanting to do something fun for Maggie for her Summer, I opted to fly her home with him so she can go hang out with my folks for a couple three weeks. The ticket I bought her was a one-way. So who knows when she’s going to want to come home. A part of me secretly hopes she can’t stand it after a week and has to come be with me. But the bigger part of me is so dang excited for her and hope that she has the time of her life. I don’t know many 5 year olds that can fly without their mom, and stay far far away from their mom for an extended period of time. She’s one in a million I tell you. She’s the diamond in the rough. I’ve mentioned to quite a few people how she has this ability to KNOW when I’m having a bad day. Other than the obvious shouting binges I do when my fun meter is pegged, she just “gets it”… ya know? Last week she says to me as I’m screaming to some dude who cut me off… “Mommy, just calm down, and don’t get so upset, you are just having a hard day.”…. I take her for granted. I take my husband for granted. I take many things for granted. Learning not to, but still. This whole husband gone to the gulf thing is getting easier I’d say. It was hard enough accepting the fact that he was going to be gone for two full months. But once I accepted it for what it was, then it was easier to just let it go and give it to God. God has my back you see. For reals… He does. I see Him in the eyes of my kids every day. I see Him in the leaves when the wind blows. And I’m counting on Him to comfort me and carry me along….. I never used to do that. My self will ran rampant. This whole thing, I’m convinced, is a little lesson….. to make me realize that I’m not as self-sufficient as I think I am. I’m gettin’ smarter and smarter every day.. ha ha…
Okay,, so anyways, by now they are about 1/2 way through the flight. At the airport there in Fresno, awaiting her arrival, is her Mimi, her Aunt and her cousins. She is going to have the best summer out of all of us really. My folks have a pontoon boat on the lake I grew up on. They have a camping trip planned, a birthday party… I mean, she’s just going to be in Heaven. I forget where we were the other day when we had arrived to our errand destination (probably stupid Home Depot) and she gets out of the car and says, “I can’t wait to have a break from Anders!!!” Their constant bickering is taxing to say the least. On me, but on HER especially. I’m hoping this distance between them might wake Anders up and figure out that she’s not all that bad. Granted, she does push his buttons from time to time, but I honestly believe it’s just out of spite for all the awful things he does and says to her. We’ll see I guess. I’m just happy for her that she won’t have to be on the defense for a few weeks. Being on the defense gets a little tiring…..
Having my dad here was awesome. I honestly believe he must think me and my life is totally nuts. Zipping from one place to the other, eating on the go, sitting in traffic, working, taking phone calls as I’m flying down the freeway,,,, yelling at the kids, mocking stupid people who cut me off… I said it more than once to him while he was here, “Gosh,, you must just think I’m crazy.”….. He didn’t ever really give me a straight answer, which only leads me to believe that he thinks that. But, it is what it is. It’s my life. And I love it. Every last thing… I love it. We camped up at Timothy Lake last weekend (and Anders and I are headed there again this weekend with a good friend of mine and her kids), and it was just a blast. Me, my dad, Maggie and Anders. Tent camping. Grilling, fishing, smores, dirt, ANTS… I MEAN HUGE ANTS, burgers, sunshine, powernaps, … all of it. Made some serious memories while he was up here. I want my kids to have vivid memories. My memories as a kid are vivid, and I visit them often, and I want that for my kids. Dad had a good time too… I could tell. I was blissed out. Always am when I’m camping. I go to another place in my head. A place that I don’t get to go to very often. It’s like a state of pure relaxation, and let’s face it, camping ain’t no relaxation!! But for whatever reason, I relax when I’m hussling around doing metal dishes, and wiping up dirt everywhere. Camping, for me, has a no-bra policy. I follow the rules when I’m camping.
Okay,, so now my house is totally and completely silent. I’m staring at my fattest cat in the window here, just totally lounging. I’ve got my other computer in the kitchen blaring pandora, it’s 5:14 pm and I have NO idea what I’m going to cook for dinner so I might just decide that Anders and I go out to dinner tonight. I’ve got sooooooooo much work to catch up on tho’. When I have family in town, I tend to just push it away. The work. I walk by the piles and go pffft. The beauty here tho’, is that I will have all day tomorrow to catch up. No interruptions. No “moooommmmyyyyy I’m done pooping!! Can you come wipe me’s” I bet in a few days tho’ I’d give anything to wipe her butt. Maggie Georgia… I hope you have the best time ever down there in California. While you’re gone, I’m hoping to clean out your room, and do a little re-decorating. And just know that I’ll be sleeping with Rosie, your build-a-bear kitty cat…..







