Mountain Girl Silver - Hand-Stamped Customized Silver Jewelry - Portland, Oregon

So I was cruising somewhere the other day (probably to starbuckies) and I told myself that I really needed to do a blog entry…  as if I have 4 million readers and they are just dying until the next time I blog er’ something. Yah…    So then I drove there and pondered, well, what the hell should I blog about? My previous blog post sort of left me dumbstruck. Breaking your anonymity to the world is pretty scary, and sort of left me feeling like I needed to go crawl in my cave for awhile and not come back out until I got some reassurance that I did the right thing. For the record, I did consult my sponsor, and a few other peeps from my home group meeting for the greenlight that I wasn’t breaking any principle or tradition of the program. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of my program, and well, it sat heavy on my shoulders since my post, if I was breakin’ any rules or anything. The bottom line is that I’m an “out-there” sort of person. When I’m sad you know it, when I’m happy you know it, when I’m pissed you know it. I’m not very good at shading the facts about my personal life anymore. Whereas about 3 months ago, I was damn good at it……   expert in fact.

Anyways, a good friend of mine recently pointed out that it seems like when my life is sort of in turmoil or ummm transition, or if something serious is going on, I have a tendency to run out and get a kitten. I hadn’t ever really thought of it like that. Honestly tho’… when I’m in the midst of Christmas Rush (yes it deserves to be capitalized) every year, I have this incessant urge to have something cute and fuzzy and playful and fun…  essentially something to take away my rough edge when I’m down…  like a kitten. Things are so monotonous and painstaking that time of year… my body hurts and my brain hurts… Now I know there are cat-haters out there, or people who may think that cats are lame pets because they can’t fetch the newspaper or sit on command, or leave dog shit everywhere…… bleh.. I feel bad for those people…   But I am, wholeheartedly, a crazy cat person. Sarah was right…    Getting Bruno (our new bengal kitten) 3 weeks ago has been one little component in my early recovery that has brought  me joy and happiness. My business has kept me busy, my hubby and kids and family and friends have shown me love, unconditional love, my program and therapist (whom I adore) have given me tools and support; even customers who have read my blog have written me with encouraging words, way more than I ever even dreamed of, God has given me serenity and peace, and well, Bruno has given me something to nurture…   It’s all pretty twisted if you really think about it. You’d think that someone in early recovery doesn’t need anything else to take on or take care of, but that’s just not the case with me. He is THEE cutest kitten (of course I say that about all kittens I’ve ever had) but he really lightens up my mood when I’m down in the dumps. He doesn’t know that I’m hurting in my heart at times. He doesn’t know or care…..  he’s just there to look at me and purr and be cute and rub up against my legs and love me anyways.  And his breed, a rare one, makes him so beautiful to look at. He is, honest to God, now that I think about it, the cutest kitten I’ve ever had. Poor thing has been sort of name-less since we got him, but “Bruno” seems to be sticking…..   anyone who’s ever skied Timberline knows why he’s got his name. ;c)

Another huge difference in my life as of late, is the willingness I’m experiencing. I’ve volunteered these last two weeks in Maggie’s classroom. You couldn’t catch me anywhere near a classroom about 3 months ago. Nope…   And the guilt that I’ve felt for so long for being so absent all the time…..  not physically per se’, but just emotionally absent from so many things runs deep. I’m learning to let it go tho’….   it’s amazing how the truth really does set you free…

Another cool thing that happened recently is that I got the disk of all the professional photos that Cori Derksen (crazy talented)  of Derksen Photography took of me and my entire family over Christmas break in California. It came in the mail. In fact, I actually had made online a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle out of one of all of us….  It’s going to be a doozey to put together, as we are standing under a very LARGE oak tree…   you know how when you do a puzzle that you try to get the outer perimeter pieces all put together first??  Yah….  that’s gonna be a doozey…  I’d upload the picture, but her pics are professional and my blog software won’t let me upload such a high resolution photo…..   I’ll post some of the pics to my Facebook Fan Page….   I tend to put some pretty cool photos on the fan page, as I don’t know how to change and edit the photos on my website. My website peeps only know how to do that…. they’re smart like that. ;c)

I’ve also started playing with the wax block I got. My dad is a wood-carver, so I know I’ve got some mad skills buried deep in somewhere to carve…    I’d like to eventually make a few pendants to cast….   like… MGS originals. I can picture, in my head, right this second what I want them to look like. I just hope I don’t end up cutting off one of my fingers…..  I can ALSO picture THAT in my mind…. it would be something from a Simpson’s episode I’m sure of it…  squirt squirt squirt…  ewwwwwww

I’ve rambled enough….  got things off my chest…..   if you don’t blog, you might wanna try it. When you get done with your rant, you feel better. It’s like free-therapy…..  Besides that… Bruno just walked, I mean, strutted into my office….. alas… my attention has been diverted…..

Laters ….

If you go and google “medical alert jewelry” or “recovery jewelry”….. just about all you’re going to find is stuff that makes you go.. “EWWWWWWWWW”…   I’m sorry,,, not a fan of dream-catchers and sterling silver Indian feather charms or big ol hunks of turquoise nuggets in the shape of the AA symbol….. or big ol stainless steel medical alert bracelets that are going to turn your wrist black… or green… or whatever cheap stuff does.  And so the lightbulb went off in my little pea-brain. There is a need in our world for classy, necessity jewelry. The need is there, and I’m not saying that ALL of the recovery jewelry out there is cheezy, I’m just saying that there needs to be more choices to the already existing styles. You can’t deviate very far away from the symbol. It is what it is, and the NA and AA symbols as well as the NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association) are symbols that mean so much to so many……..   including me…………

I started my journey into sobriety 68 days ago. The clarity that sobriety has given me, has filled me with the passion to make a line of jewelry specifically for those like me. I’m proud to be me, and I wear a necklace with a symbol on it, but I had to buy it online. It took me for-ev-er to find the perfect pendant to wear that fit my style, and then it hit me. I’m a jeweler, so why don’t I make my own stuff!!!!   So, I talked this afternoon with my guy who I work with in California to create 4 custom stamps. I spoke to a company in Colorado as well, and I will be casting a one-of-a-kind, simple pendant to stamp these symbols on. This is all very very exciting for me. When I get an idea in my head, I do whatever it takes to put it into play. And I really, truly feel that what I can create with my two hands is going to touch the lives of many. Some people who are members of AA or NA or NEDA aren’t hip on wearing big ol honkin’ symbols around their necks or wrists, but I feel that if I give them the opportunity to create their OWN style, with their own combination of words and sentiments, then there will be recovering individuals, and people with medical issues walking around wearing something they are comfortable with.  And when you have a medical issue, or when you are in recovery, every single ounce of comfort matters. Even down to the symbol you live by……….

It is my mission….. I feel that this is a simple way to service the fellowship and unity of people like me, and people who live with a life threatening medical condition.

All this being said, I have another announcement ;c)   The Mountain Girl Silver website, here shortly, will be undergoing a make-over. There’s going to be new photos, new colors, a new “vibe” if you will. It’s still going to function the same easy way, just going to look different and feel different. And I’m sure if you’re reading this blog, then your eyes are getting all jimmy jacked from the white on black writing…. not good.  My website is a reflection of me…….   I used to be bold and “in your face” and loud……   and, well,…  I think that all needs to change, as I have changed. The word “HUMILITY” hangs around my neck today…..    I’ve said this a million and a 1/2 times in my life… “Change is Good”….  and it is…

If there is something in your life that you’ve been thinking about changing…. but are scared, and don’t know how to go about it……   there’s help out there. There’s help, and a million trillion billion people in your same shoes. Feeling hopeless has got to be the scariest, worst, debilitating feeling that God gave us the ability to feel. Everything can turn around for anyone…….   I know this from first hand experience. There is nothing that matters more to me and my life than my sobriety. Because if it weren’t for my sobriety, then everything else wouldn’t matter anyway………..

Be well……

Secretly…. I’m stoked that the holidays are behind us. The new year is staring at us, and we are humbly at it’s mercy, with high hopes of good health, lots of hope and just all around peace and hippy love. We just got back from California on New Years Eve, and well… I was asleep on the couch by 8:45pm… NOT my typical style of ringing in the new year to say the least, but I was drained. Drained drained drained in the membrane.. Me, the hubby, and the kids AND the dog were in California for a total of 9 days. Oddly enough, I slept like a champ while we were down there tho’…. however, I don’t think my pops was too happy about getting kicked out of his king size bed thanks to me and Eric and Maggie….  Mom kept assuring me that they were “fine” in the small full bed in the spare room, but I still felt a wee bit guilty. Their bed is one of those pimped out high beds with that cushy top thingy. The crappy thing,, is now that I’m home, and slept two nights in my own bed, I realize that YAH,,, I want a new bed. But I got totally spoiled for Christmas, so I think I need to wait until a few months go by before I spout off things that I want, need, and hafta have. ;c)

While in California, went skiing a couple of times. Super nostalgic skiing on my old slopes. The slopes where I learned to ski as a wee lad. The resort has changed quite a bit since I lived there as a kid… they’ve added a few new chairs, tons more runs… but the same Sierra Summit feel was still there. I worked there as a teenager too, in the hotel and the lodge. Things are all different now tho’…  On the second trip up the mtn, we took my 12 year old nephew, Maxan up with us and I was hellbent on getting that kid up on skis. And while it was tough sacrificing a day shredding and tearing it up my way, to teach someone how to ski, at the end of the day when he looked at me and said, “Can’t we go up just one more time?”…  it was allll worth it. He got it….  and he craved more apparently, as my sister and her husband went up again yesterday…  makes me feel good. No bug bites harder than the skiing bug. For me anyhow….

I stamped all day today catching up on orders from the 16th of Dec. I had all these whacky plans of stamping while I was on vacation, but I just couldn’t bring myself to focus while we were down there. The weather was nice, puzzles needed to be done, food needed to be cooked and eaten, and  bonding needed to happen. So I just said to hell with it, and laid the hammer to rest while i was there. Neen got out a pretty big order for Stella E Luna in New Jersey, but other than that, shop was closed. And… it…. was….. soooooooo nice… needed and nice. It’s bittersweet tho’, because even tho’ I was enjoying the time off (as well as my joints in my hands and my knuckles) I knew that I was going to have to come home to a buttload of stamping to do. But I know that when I dedicate a solid chunk of time to my work, I can get it done efficiently, and that’s exactly what I did today. Ummmmm but my hubby got me the Mario Bros game for the Wii for Christmas and well… that friggen game is going to suck A LOT of precious time out of my day as soon as the kids go back to school….  ADDICT!!!  I should know better……  ;c)

But as soon as I get all caught up on orders, you can bet that I’ll be skiing most weekends now. There’s something about  flying down the hill on sticks, in my own little world, with Eddie Vedder blasting in my ear drums that trips my trigger and gets me high on life. And even when I stop in the middle of a run to take a breather, and I can see the people on the chairlift up above me, it doesn’t stop me from singing along to my ipod at the top of my lungs…..   good stuff… good good stuff. Clarity is good.

Hubby just popped in here in the office to ask me if I wanted to play a round of Mario…..    blog some more or go play Mario??

Doo do doooo do doooo dooo  duh…    ba bum bummm bu nuh nu nuh… doo do

laters….   and HAPPY NEW YEAR…   I’m choosing to say “twenty ten” instead of “two thousand ten”…   sounds more profound er’ something… more striking…